The Royal Rumble 1989 review features the first-ever Royal Rumble in its truest form. The previous version was a good start, but this was the one that captured all of our hearts and made us wrestling fans forever.
Well, maybe not. But it was pretty damn cool.
Let’s get to Blake’s Royal Rumble 1989 review.
Date: January 15, 1989
Location: The Summit in Houston, TX
The Fabulous Rougeaus and Dino Bravo (w/Jimmy Hart and Frenchy Martin) vs. The Hart Foundation and Hacksaw Jim Duggan – 2 out of 3 Falls Match
We get the hosses in there to start the match. Neidhart and Bravo go round and round, and then Hacksaw gets in to square off with Raymond. No chance in hell that Hacksaw is selling for Raymond, so he kicks his ass. Bret then works in and gets near falls on a small package and sunset flip. Something tells me Bret will be spending a lot of time in the ring during this one given his teammates.
All six man get in the ring and we’ve got a massive brouhaha before the heels retreat. Shenanigans from Raymond and Jacques put Bret in trouble. And then from outta nowhere, Raymond pins Bret to take the first fall. More ass beating for Bret, with Bravo showcasing the juice. Bret finally gets a tiny bit of offense with another sunset flip, but no go.
Boston crab on Bret and then awesome heel work from the Rougeaus as Bret makes the tag but Raymond came in prior to distract the ref. Bret still getting flat out dissected but manages to kick out of multiple pins. Inverted atomic drop finally allows Bret to make the hot tag to Hacksaw and Raymond gets hooooooooooooooed. As does Bravo. As does Jacques. Then we get double catapults over the ropes by the Hart Foundation, and Hacksaw pins Raymond for the second fall.
Now we’ve got Hacksaw getting teamed up on. But Hacksaw will not be held down. Scrum breaks out and the ref gets occupied in the bad guys’ corner. This allows notable good guy Hacksaw to do a good guy move and bash Bravo with the 2×4 to give Bret the pin and the win at 15:42. Solid opening match.
• Rating: ***
BACKSTAGE: Millon Dollar Man draws his number. He’s not happy, so he pulls Slick into the mix and tries to buy Boss Man or Akeem’s number. Honky Tonky Man draws and throws it down. The Bushwhackers draw and they are fucking thrilled. Bad News Brown draws and he laughs and says it’s good news. Jake Roberts draws and says he hopes Andre is there when he gets there. The Rockers draw and they simply say good luck.
Judy Martin vs. (c) Rockin’ Robin – WWF Women’s Title
Sensational Sherri on the mic before the match and she challenges the winner. Sherri now on commentary and makes fun of Robin’s skinny body. Vince McMahon line without a doubt. They go back and forth for a while and crowd is silent. Give them credit for working this match, but goodness this is painful to watch.
Sherri says it all when she says “c’mon somebody win.” Yes please. Robin hits a move off the top to retain at 6:24. It wasn’t the best match ever.
• Rating: 1/2*
BACKSTAGE: Sean Mooney with Slick, as he tries to backtrack about selling his number to DiBiase. Says he hasn’t seen DiBiase in a month. So Mooney goes savage and shows the clip from earlier of Slick talking with DiBiase. Good stuff with him trying to keep it from Boss Man and Akeem.
IN THE RING: Super Posedown time with Rick Rude and The Ultimate Warrior. This would be the beginning of a special feud. Lots of posing, and Warrior’s ab routine is hilarious. The whole thing is hilarious really, but it does its job in starting the hatred between Rude and Warrior. Then all hell breaks loose when Heenan sprays oil in Warrior’s face and Rude nails Warrior with the workout bar from behind. And so it begins.
King Haku (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. Harley Race
The world wants to know who the real King is. Of course, after Race got injured after being crowned, Heenan replaced him with the one and only Haku. I think we all know this will be a brawl.
Back and forth we go and Haku gets some work in to send Race eventually to the outside. Lots of suplexes being thrown around, with Race getting a near fall. We get both men on the outside and Haku back drops Race onto the mat. Haku then bashes Race’s back into the apron, which is followed up by a PILEDRIVER ON THE OUTSIDE from Race. Holy hell.
Reverse neckbreaker from Race gets another two count. Haku starts the chops to take back over. Then he goes up top and misses the flying headbutt. Race then misses a flying headbutt of his own. Crowd doesn’t give a damn, but this isn’t half bad to be honest. Haku then finishes Race off with the thrust kick at 9:01. Crowd sucked, but again, this was fine.
• Rating: **1/2
BACKSTAGE: We get about 20 interviews hyping up the Royal Rumble. As you would expect, Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant appear to the massive favorites heading into the match. They also play up the possibility of Hogan and Savage having to throw each other out. FORESHADOWING.
The 1989 Royal Rumble Match
It’s go time. Ax draws No. 1, and wouldn’t you know it, Smash draws No. 2. This was a hell of a way to start the concept of the match itself. And because these were two badasses, they start beating the shit out of each other. How could you not love Demolition? I’m wearing Demolition face paint as I type this.
Andre the Giant in at No. 3. Naturally, Ax and Smash go right after Andre and send him to the mat. Mr. Perfect is No. 4, and this is quite a perfect start as he starts nailing everyone. Andre then tosses Smash out. Ronnie Garvin is your No. 5 entrant. So much for this massive heel turn on Dusty Rhodes at Great American Bash the previous summer. He helps the others in tying Andre in the ropes. Garvin and Perfect exchange some hellacious chops before Greg Valentine strolls down at No. 6. Everyone still trying to eliminate Andre, but that shit ain’t happening. Andre eliminates Garvin with a hip toss.
Jake Roberts is No. 7 and he and Andre are throwing down. Valentine tries to get involved but Andre has no time to sell a Valentine hammer to the back. Andre keeps choking out Jake with the boot and then steps on him. The newly bald Ron Bass is No. 8. Andre then nonchalantly throws out Jake. Well that was a squash.
Shawn Michaels flies in at No. 9. Perfect then tosses Ax out of the match. Nice run for the Ax. Perfect then sends Michaels over but he hangs onto the ropes, and we get the same spot with Perfect going over but hanging onto the ropes. Bushwhacker Butch is at No. 10, and I can confidently predict that he will not be winning this match.
Meanwhile, Jake is back with Damian in hand. He slings the snake into the ring and Andre eliminates himself to get the hell out of Dodge. Or Houston. Honky Tonk Man is No. 11. Then Tito Santana charges in after Perfect at No. 12. Bad News Brown into the fray at No. 13. Jesse with the line of the night: “This is a normal Saturday night for him.” Outstanding. Honky gets thrown out by someone much to the delight of everyone. Marty Jannetty in at No. 14. Double dropkick from the Rockers sends Bass out.
Randy Savage is here at No. 15, and the man isn’t even taking his sunglasses off while kicking Bad News’ ass. Arn Anderson is No. 16. Valentine gets tossed by Savage. Good interaction between Michaels and Arn. Then we get Savage and Arn teaming up to eliminate Michaels. That was an interesting touch. Tully Blanchard in at No. 17. Perfect and Savage start going at it and I say clear the ring and just let these two go for the next 30 minutes.
Great spot with Marty hanging on but finally getting pushed out by the Brain Busters. Hulk Hogan is No. 18. And since he never at any point in his career gave a damn about putting Perfect over, he tosses him within seconds after Perfect had been the star of the match. Of course.
Hogan continues to run wild and Santana gets tossed somewhere in here. Bad News almost throws out Hogan and Savage does nothing to save him. Bushwhacker Luke is your No. 19 entrant. Butch gets thrown over by Bad News. Hogan now making Arn and Tully look stupid. Koko B. Ware is No. 20. Hogan eliminates Koko within a minute. NO BIRD IS GOING OVER ON ME, BROTHER. Then Hogan tosses Luke.
The Warlord is No. 21, and as he’s coming down the aisle, Hogan eliminates both Arn and Tully with the double clothesline. So right now it’s just Hogan/Savage/Bad News in there. Warlord steps a foot into the ring and he gets tossed by Hogan in two seconds. And naturally, Hogan goes over and tosses both Bad News and Savage to clear the entire ring. SAVAGE IS PISSED. He gets back in and pushes Hogan repeatedly. Elizabeth comes out and gets in the middle of them. They continue to bicker at each other while Jesse pushes that Hogan is an egomaniac. Well, he’s right. Savage offers the handshake at the end and ALL IS WELL AGAIN WITH THE MEGA POWERS. We’ll see about that.
Big Boss Man makes his way in at No. 22. Hogan gets offense early but Boss Man takes over and even spits on Hogan. Akeem is No. 23. Immediately Hogan throws them into each other and slams Akeem. Boss Man picks up Hogan and nearly tosses him, but double noggin knocker to the Towers. AND THEN THE TOWERS ELIMINATE HOGAN! IT’S A MIRACLE. But of course this won’t fly as Hogan pulls out Boss Man and then Akeem goes out to help his best bud.
Brutus Beefcake is No. 24. He’s here to save his own best bud Hulk. Beefcake destroys everyone and then Hogan tries to get back in the match. What a moron. Since he can’t do that, he pulls the ropes down and causes Boss Man to be eliminated. Great heel work by the company’s top babyface. This would begin the trend of Hogan being a sore loser in other Rumbles. Red Rooster on the way at No. 25.
A whole lot of nothing going on now with Beefcake and Rooster working over Akeem. The Barbarian is No. 26. Let this man clean house. Big John Studd is in at No. 27. Hercules comes in at No. 28. The match has really slowed down. Rick Martel is BACK and he’s No. 29. The heat has completely evaporated after the Hogan/Savage and Towers stuff. And Ted DiBiase is No. 30. Clearly the Million Dollar Man stuck a few bills in Slick’s pocket to get this number.
So at this point, you would think that there’s only two possible winners: DiBiase and Akeem. Let’s see how that goes. DiBiase tosses the Rooster. DiBiase and Barbarian then pull a savage move and dump Herc and Beefcake at the same time. We get a Barbarian showcase with the flying headbutt and such, but Martel dropkicks him and sends him over. Your final four are Akeem/Studd/Dibiase/Martel. Then Akeem catches Martel and he’s outta there.
Akeem and DiBiase go to work on Studd. Then we start getting the same formula as Royal Rumble 1988, with the heels making a mistake and Studd sending Akeem over. Studd squashes DiBiase for a bit and finally tosses him for the win at 1:04:53.
Where do we begin? For starters, Studd had been gone for YEARS. Now he comes back and wins a Rumble with an enormous amount of stars in it, and even eliminated two of the hottest heels in the company in DiBiase and Akeem to win it. But hey this was 1989, and Vince McMahon was sending the crowd home happy damnit. However, there was zero reason for Studd to win this match.
Then there’s the fact that the crowd was done after the Hogan/Savage shenanigans. Not to mention that Hogan was once again the biggest hypocrite ever. It was quite enjoyable, but illogical booking hurts it a bit.
• Rating: ***
Blake’s Royal Rumble 1989 Awards
- Best Match: Royal Rumble Match
- Royal Rumble 1989 MVP: Randy Savage
- Overall Royal Rumble 1989 Rating: 6.0/10
- Thoughts: Aside from the women’s title match, everything else is pretty entertaining. Well, minus the final portion of the Rumble. It advanced the Mega Powers tension and made a big star out of Studd. Oh, wait. But in all seriousness, it was a fun show.
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