Blake’s WWF No Way Out Of Texas Review: DX Needs A Partner

In this WWF No Way Out Of Texas review, DX needs a replacement partner in the main event, Kane squares off with Vader, and much more.

Let’s jump in!

Date: February 15, 1998

Location: Compaq Center in Houston, TX

VIDEO: We get a video package hyping the eight-man tag main event. 

RINGSIDE: JR and Lawler welcome us and discuss DX having to replace Shawn Michaels in the main event tag match. JR also tells us that the match will be unsanctioned. 

Marc Mero and Goldust (w/Sable and Luna Vachon) vs. The Headbangers

Goldust is sporting long black hair and is clearly going for the Marilyn Manson look. Marilyn Manson was OVER folks. Mero grabs the mic before the match and wants the people to stop cheering Sable. He then says there’s only room for one beautiful lady in the ring and tells Sable to get the hell out. The crowd hated this but Mero was great here. Sable heads to the back and the men in the audience have made Mero public enemy No. 1. Mero throws body shots to Mosh to get things started and then delivers a a few elbows. Mero goes for another elbow but Mosh counters and eventually clotheslines Mero over the top.

Mosh tags in Thrasher who hits a clothesline off the top rope. Mero pokes Thrasher in the eye and then tags in Goldust, who gets a drop toe hold from Thrasher. More offense from Thrasher and Mosh gets tagged in and hits the double axe handle off the top. More double teaming from Mosh and Thrasher. Mosh comes off the top and goes for a pin on Goldust but Mero breaks it up. Thrasher and Goldust fight on the outside while the ref is preoccupied with Mero.

Dropkick from Mosh on Goldust and Thrasher gets the tag.  He goes to work but Mero makes a bling tag and gains the advantage on Thrasher. Mero drops an elbow and gets a two count. More Sable chants and Mero isn’t happy. Thrasher goes for a running move off the ropes but Goldust hopes the rope down to send him to the outside. Luna then kicks the metal out of Thrasher before Goldust throws him on the ring steps (they’re back!). Mero goes out and throws Thrasher face-first on the steps and he’s BLEEDING PROFUSELY. That’s not ideal. 

Goldust and Mero keep working on him as the crowd tells Mero that he sucks. Mero knocks down Thrasher again and tags Goldust who goes for a couple pin attempts in a row. Thrasher somehow gets a near fall on Goldust and Mero is back in. Mero tells the ref to check on Thrasher, and Mero unwraps his hand and uses the tape to choke Thrasher as the ref goes over to hold Mosh back from coming in the ring. Knee to the stomach from Mero and then he hits a powerbomb on Thrasher. I can confirm that it looked better than Nash’s powerbomb on Giant. 

Mero goes for the TKO and Thrasher counters into the DDT. Mero gets to the corner and tags Goldust and then we get the hot tag to Mosh. Flapjack on Goldust for a two. The ref gets caught up with Mero as Thrasher goes up top, which allows Luna to pull Thrasher’s foot and rack him. HERE COMES SABLE. Mero hits the TKO on Mosh as Sable bounces her way down the aisle. Mero rolls out to hold back Sable while Goldust holds back Luna. Mosh and Thrasher switch in the ring while all this is going on, and Mero gets back in and gets rolled up by Thrasher for the pin at 13:27. Sable yells at Luna after and they try to go at each other but get held back by officials. Sable and Mero then yell at each other and she SHOVES HIS ASS TO THE MAT. As was the case in this era, the match wasn’t a technical masterpiece, but the angle was hot and so was Sable. ZING.

• Rating: **

BACKSTAGE: Michael Cole with Owen Hart. Cole asks Owen how he’s gonna be able to team with Stone Cold Steve Austin. Owen says they better stay out of each other’s way. Then he tells HHH that he’s gonna bust his legs. 

(c) Taka Michinoku vs. Pantera – WWF Light Heavyweight Title 

Sunny is the special guest ring announcer since the WWF wanted to make sure the horny males stayed erect. I tried to come up with a penis joke but instead just kept it simple. Before the match, we get recap of Brian Christopher giving Pantera a foreign object on RAW which allowed him to pin Taka in a tag match. And then Sunny gives Taka kiss before the match. Brian Christopher figures he might as well come down to the ring too since Sunny is giving out kisses. Actually nevermind, he’s headed to join JR and Lawler. Taka with some early chops but Pantera slings him outside. Pantera then hits a plancha onto Taka as JR suggests that Lawler and Christopher could be father and son. Christopher’s exaggerated responses are pretty awesome.

Back in the ring and Taka and Pantera go back and forth. Taka throws Pantera outside and then jumps on the top rope for a spectacular springboard onto him. Taka runs down the aisle and hits a flying elbow. Taka goes to work in the ring and hits a nice dropkick to the face. Meanwhile, JR is running down Japanese people. There’s a shocker. Pantera tries to get some offense but Taka hits him. But Pantera reverses and hits a hurricanrana off the top onto Taka who is on the apron. That was a fucking spot right there. Tope from Pantera drives Taka into the railing. Christopher adds his own touch of racism by describing Taka’s eyes. My goodness.

Pantera hits a backbreaker on Taka and then locks in the modified camel clutch. Hiplock takeover by Pantera and then he kicks Taka in the spine. Pantera with several impressive submission moves as he keeps working on the back. Taka hits a few punches before Pantera back drops him over the top. Ridiculous tope con hilo from Pantera onto Taka on the floor. Pantera with the elbow drop on Taka’s back. Another submission inside that turns into a pin but Taka kicks out at two. And Pantera hits another backbreaker. Christopher has now added Mexican jokes to his repertoire. Lucky us.

Pantera with the Irish whip and add another backbreaker to his tally. But Taka slaps him silly and both men go up top before Pantera hits hurricanrana. Hard slam from Pantera and then he hits a moonsault for a near fall. Another moonsault attempt but Taka moves and then jumps off the top for a flying knee to back of the neck. Taka goes for the Michinoku Driver but Pantera reverses it into a pin for two. Cradle pin from Pantera for two again. Taka counters and hits a powebomb for two. Taka with a missile dropkick off the top and then he hits the Michinoku Driver to retain at 10:19. Sunny is happy as Christopher loses it and says he’s gonna kick Taka’s ass. Lawler goes to restrain him and Taka jumps off the top and hits both of them with the flying cross body. They get up to retaliate and Taka leaves through the crowd. Fun match here even if the crowd was zoned in on Sunny.

• Rating: ***

BACKSTAGE: Kevin Kelly with Cactus Jack and Chainsaw Charlie in the WWF AOL ROOM. America Online was the real MVP of the Attitude Era. Kelly asks them who they think DX will pick to replace Michaels. Cactus basically says he doesn’t give a flying fuck and just wants to destroy the New Age Outlaws. Charlie echoes that before Kelly reminds us that the AOL keyword is WWF. 

The Quebecers vs. The Godwinns

Both of these teams are heels, so this should go well. Before the match we get a recap of the Godwinns using their slop bucket on Pierre on Shotgun Saturday Night. Jacques Rougeau in the ring and Raymond Rougeau on the Canadian announce desk here and a reminder that they’re All-American boys. Jacques and Phineas tie up which leads to Jacques hitting a big dropkick. Phineas tags in Henry who shoulder blocks Jacques. Tag to Pierre and he goes on the attack. Henry gets the upper hand and locks on the armbar as JR keeps hyping up the mystery man in the main event. Surely it won’t be a letdown. Surely.

Drop toe hold from Pierre and he tags Jacques back in. Henry hits the double clothesline and Phineas comes back in and hits the Fujiwara armbar takedown. Another tag and Henry hits the shoulder breaker. Phineas tags in and he gets a spine buster on Jacques and gets a two. Tag No. 38 but Jacques kicks Henry in the head. Tag No. 39 brings Phineas back in and Henry gets some shots in on Jacques in the corner before Phineas gets a near fall.

Sunset flip from Jacques gets a two count. Yet another tag and Henry gets a two on Jacques. Headlock from Henry but Jacques counters into a reverse jawbreaker. Jacques goes for a piledriver but Henry back drops him and makes another tag. Phineas with a headbutt to Jacques’ scrotal region and then he stays on the attack with a flurry of punches. And then, much to everyone’s surprise, there’s another tag. If you watched this show in 1998 and took a drink every time the Godwinns made a tag, you probably stopped feeling hungover around Summerslam 2002.

Jacques hits a reverse flying elbow and then makes the tag to Pierre. Clothesline from Pierre and he drops the blow. Pierre hits a power slam and goes for the pin but Henry breaks it up. Double team from the Quebecers as they flip Phineas off the rope. Jacques hits the piledriver and tags Pierre, who leaps off the top and gets another two. Can we get Sunny back out here? Because the crowd is no longer erect and is instead sitting on their hands. 

Jacques flies off the top onto Henry on the outside. The ref gets Jacques back to his corner and Phineas throws Pierre at Henry who hits a big clothesline. Phineas then gets the pin at 11:15.  The Godwinns attack with the slop buckets after the match. The crowd had zero fucks to give in this one.

• Rating: 1/2*

BACKSTAGE: Doc Hendrix with the New Age Outlaws. He wants them to reveal the mystery guy. Road Dogg doesn’t even know who their partner is and complains about not being involved in the decision making process. Billy says they’re gonna go find out who it is.

VIDEO: We get a WWF Attitude package of superstars basically saying this shit is real and it hurts.

(c) Jeff Jarrett (w/Jim Cornette, Barry Windham, and the Rock ’n’ Roll Express) vs. Bradshaw – NWA North American Title

The ref tells Windham and the Rock ’n’ Roll Express to hit the bricks before the match. Bradshaw with hard rights on Jarrett outside the ring and then he throws him in and beats the hell out of him with his leather chaps. Bradshaw with the boot to the face on Jarrett and then hip tosses him. Chops from Bradshaw and then he kicks Jarrett in the  back. Jarrett tries to get some offense but Bradshaw hits another big boot and clotheslines Jarrett over the top. Jarrett and Cornette hug on the outside but it’s DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER TIME.

Bradshaw grabs Cornette but Jarrett attacks from behind. Back in the ring as Jarrett gains the advantage with a dropkick and lariat. Jarrett hits the dropkick off the top and gets a two count. Jarrett chokes out Bradshaw on the ropes with his knee and then grabs the ref’s attention so Cornette can continue the choke. More shenanigans from Cornette allows Jarrett to get another two. The ‘Jarrett sucks’ chants begin and Bradshaw gets an inside cradle for a near fall. Jarrett tries a sunset flip but Bradshaw pops him in the mouth. 

Jarrett puts Bradshaw’s head over the middle rope and goes for a flying knee but Bradshaw moves out of the way. The ref is distracted and Cornette uses the racket on Bradshaw’s injured knee. Jarrett works on the knee and then Bradshaw tries to get a lariat but misses. Jarrett goes up top but gets racked on the turnbuckle. Bradshaw tries for superplex but Jarrett throws him down to the mat. Jarrett with a flying cross body but Bradshaw catches him and turns it into a fallaway slam. 

Bradshaw with a powerbomb which causes Cornette to get on the apron. Bradshaw flings him into the ring and then Irish whips him into Jarrett. The ref checks on Cornette and Jarrett wallops Bradshaw with the tennis racket to cause the DQ at 8:33. Jarrett goes to hit the ref with the racket but Bradshaw steals it and hits him in the back. Rock ’n’ Roll Express hit the ring and also get popped with the racket. Bradshaw bodyslams Cornette and goes for a running clothesline but Windham sneaks down and grabs his foot as the whole NWA group destroys Bradshaw. That brings the Legion of Doom in to clean house. As usual, the angle was hotter than the match.

• Rating: **

BACKSTAGE: Cole with HHH and Chyna. Cole wants to know about the mystery partner. HHH says that literally wrestlers all over the planet have called about being Michaels’ replacement. HHH says since no one can replace what Michaels can do, it’s gonna be a handicap match. Cole explains that WWF officials will appoint one to their team unless they find a partner. HHH doesn’t care and says they can add who they want. 

BACKSTAGE: Doc with the Nation of Domination. Doc plays up the dissension in the group and says it’s best to add the leader what’s going on. Farooq goes to speak but The Rock grabs the mic. Farooq grabs it back and says he’s gonna whoop Rock’s ass. Farooq talks and Rock is just rolling his eyes and flexing the entire time. We see a video of Rock whacking Shamrock with a chair to save Farooq. Rock continues to roll his eyes and smirk as Farooq keeps talking. This was close to peak asshole Rock here, and it was glorious.

The Nation of Domination vs. Ken Shamrock, Ahmed Johnson, and The Disciples of Apocalypse – War of Attrition Match

I have no idea what a War of Attrition match is, but apparently it’s an elimination match. Skull and D’Lo start the match.  Spinning heel kick from D’Lo but Skull takes control and tags in Shamrock. D’Lo with a rake to the eyes but Shamrock ducks a clothesline and hits a spinning reverse elbow. Arm drag takeover from Shamrock before D’Lo tags in Kama. HERE COMES CHAINZ aka the man who should’ve been main eventing WrestleMania (read the Rumble review if you’re lost). Chainz with the big boot and then a bodyslam and a triple elbow drop. Henry gets the tag and he wants Ahmed. So Chainz tags Ahmed.

Dueling punches and the crowd is losing their shit over these two going at it. Henry gets in some offense and then Ahmed slams him. D’Lo back in and he attacks Ahmed from behind. Chainz tries to get in but the ref holds him back. D’Lo goes for a suplex but Ahmed picks up him and drives him face-first into the mat. Ahmed laying over halfway across the ring and somehow D’Lo still hits the frog splash. Holy shit that was something there. 

Farooq in now and he gets some offense going. But Ahmed hits a spine buster and goes for the Pearl River Plunge before Rock stops it. Ahmed manages to tag 8-Ball who powerslams Farooq for a two count. Shamrock in and he hits a big flying kick to Farooq’s face. Farooq stumbles over and tags Rock, who hits a DDT on Shamrock for a two. Rock with corner kicks and punches to Shamrock’s face. Teamwork from the Nation and Kama is in to do work on Shamrock.

Kama goes for a clothesline in the corner but Shamrock ducks and tags Skull. By the way, telling the difference between Skull and 8-Ball is impossible, so let’s just hope JR knows which is which. Double team from those two on Kama. And now Skull and 8-Ball switch several times. Your guess is as good as mine as to which one is in the ring. They tag again and one of them gets kicked by Kama. D’Lo tagged in and he gains the advantage on……let’s say Skull. That’s gotta be Skull. Frog splash from D’Lo gets another near fall. Rock gets the tag and goes to work.

Rock with the People’s Elbow before it was called the People’s Elbow. Rock tags Farooq but he gets knocked down by Skull. Rock back in but he gets clotheslined. The ref gets distracted and Rock and D’Lo do a low blow combination on Skull. Henry with a shoulder block, and Kama is back to kick ass in the corner. Kama with a reverse chin lock and JR and Lawler are now trying to decide if it’s 8-Ball or Chainz in the ring. They’re confused as fuck.

The double teaming continues from the Nation before D’Lo hits a backbreaker and then misses a moonsault off the top. Skull with the hot tag to Shamrock and WE’VE GOT A BROUHAHA. Everyone out of the ring except Rock and Shamrock. Takedown from Shamrock and he puts on the Ankle Lock which causes Rock to tap at 13:44. So, um, about this being an elimination match. Rock is pissed in the ring and the rest of the Nation stares at him. Rock gets in Farooq’s face and then shoves him. D’Lo tries to hold Farooq back but gets shoved. Rock gets out of the ring as Farooq and D’Lo are held back from other each other by Kama and Henry. Farooq demands that Rock come back to the ring, and he does and gets backs in his face. Farooq tells everyone to line up and do the usual fist in the air. Solid match with good heat, and again, it was all about furthering an angle.

• Rating: **3/4

BACKSTAGE: Cole with Austin. Cole talks about the mystery partner and Austin doesn’t give a damn. Austin says it’s fun to whip ass anywhere in the world but it actually means something if you do it in Texas. 

VIDEO: Hype for the Vader vs. Kane match with a focus on Undertaker being out of the picture after Kane set the casket on fire at the Rumble. 

Vader vs. Kane (w/Paul Bearer)

They go face to face and exchange punches right off the bat. The crowd is eating this up with a spoon. Not literally because these men are too big to fit on a spoon. They brawl outside the ring and Kane throws Vader back inside. Kane slams Vader’s face off the steps and they make their way back in the ring. Vader counters and delivers hard shots to Kane’s head and sends him over the top. They’re both back outside again and Vader throws Kane into the ring post.

Kane gets on the apron and hangs Vader on the top rope. Kane up top and he hits the flying punch to the face. Kane chokes Vader in the corner as the crowd chants for the latter. Suplex from Kane and he uses his foot to choke Vader. Another top rope move from Kane as he delivers the forearm to Vader. JR tells us Rock and Farooq are on the superstar hotline. CALL 1-800-909-9900! Whoops, wrong show. 

Kane continues the onslaught but Vader fights out with several punches. Kane quickly retakes control and hits a scoop slam. Leap over the top from Kane as he racks Vader’s neck on the top rope. Kane back in but he gets clotheslined over by Vader. That doesn’t work as Kane gets in and hits the DDT. Irish whip from Kane but Vader counters with a big swing. More punches from Vader and then a splash in the corner. Kane goes for the chokeslam but Vader with a knee to the midsection. 

Vader hits a splash and then heads to the top and connects on the Vader Bomb. Kane sits up quickly and Vader knocks him outside again. The brawl some more on the outside before Kane throws into the steps. Vader then pulls out a fire extinguisher and sprays Kane. Bearer distracts the ref while this is going on and Vader just keeps spraying Kane. Not exactly sure why Bearer was the one distracting the ref since Kane was getting sprayed, but let’s not try to make sense of this.

Powerbomb from Vader and Bearer gets on the apron. Vader clocks him and Kane gets up to deliver the chokeslam. Kane with the Tombstone Piledriver and that’ll do it at 10:57. After the match, Kane grabs a wrench and strikes Vader in the head with it. Vader gets stretchered out afterward. Another match to push Kane as a monster.

• Rating: **

VIDEO: We get a hype video for the main event.

Stone Cold Steve Austin, Owen Hart, Cactus Jack, and Chainsaw Charlie vs. Triple H, Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, and Savio Vega (w/Chyna)

Savio is the mystery partner, and JR and Lawler really push that the WWF made this decision. The fans weren’t exactly thrilled about it. On the other hand, a HUGE pop for Austin and there’s chaos and weapons everywhere to start the match. Austin beats the hell out of Triple H, while Cactus and Charlie take out DX in the ring. Then it’s Cactus, Charlie, and Owen casually putting Gunn through a table. This is WILD. Earl Hebner isn’t even trying to get control of this thing. He’s just sitting back watching these dudes throw down on each other.

The teams finally reach their spots on the apron, so I guess this is the official start of the match. Back and forth, and at one point, Austin throws the trash can from the apron and hammers Gunn with it in the middle of the ring. That was hilarious, and Gunn sold it like a champ. Owen tries to get the hot tag, but Hebner misses it and sends him back out. Shocker that Hebner, who let weapon warfare start his one, didn’t see a tag.

The crowd wants them some Stone Cold, but DX continues to work over Charlie and Cactus. They even bring out the barbed wired and lock it around Cactus’ head and in his mouth, which is just brutal. Then they beat Cactus, who is still barbed wired, with a chair. Gunn accidentally hits Dogg with a chair, and that leads to the hot tag to Austin. He kicks ass and quickly stuns Dogg to earn the pin for the win at 17:37. A fun brawl and the crowd got what they wanted with Austin.

• Rating: ***1/4

IN THE RING: After the match, here comes Chyna. She goes face to face with Austin and shoves him. She keeps taunting him and gives him the double finger salute. Austin is not gonna take that, so he hits her with the Stunner too. The crowd loses it for this, and once again, it was a different period in wrestling.

SHOW SUMMARY

The main event was by no means a masterpiece, but they made the most of it with a crazy Attitude Era brawl. Elsewhere, there wasn’t a lot of noteworthy action outside of a few solid matches. But as always, this was how things worked in this era, and there was another storyline advancement to keep it interesting.

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